Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
