So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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