remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
