I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
