Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I hope mine doesn't look like that
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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