nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
