Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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