He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
