im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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