My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
