It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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