i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
