I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
