just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
