just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
