you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
