If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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