Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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