Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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