Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
