Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
