He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
