Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
