Your tits are I can't wait for
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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