where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
