Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
