We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
