all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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