whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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