Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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