I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
