So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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