some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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