Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
