She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
