Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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