My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Randomize
