I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
