im drinking this country out of the recession.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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