Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
