I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
