got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
The air taste purple.
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