Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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