Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
