You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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