in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
