nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
