Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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