walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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