Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
